Can I ask you a few questions?
How good do you feel about yourself? When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you criticize yourself for not being slim enough, smart enough and deserving enough? Do you compare yourself with others?
If your answers are in the negative, guess what? You lack self-love.
The most important person in your life is YOU. Yet, we tend to neglect ourselves and wonder why we are not happy.
In a recent workshop, I discussed the benefits of loving ourselves to a group of ladies. I read a very good analogy and so I used it to explain the concept. It went like this. A car needs fuel to function and with a full tank it can travel a long way. Similarly, we need to fill our tank which is our heart of love to function at our absolute best.
It’s amazing how we push ourselves to the limits to achieve outer happiness often failing to notice how our soul is craving for love, peace and happiness.
Self-love is by no means being arrogant, selfish or egoistic. Loving oneself is honouring and validating ones true self – who you truly are.
Self-love gives you inner and outer happiness. Self-love is nurturing, healing and liberating oneself and in turn others. It gives confidence. It’s feeling good about us. When we feel good about ourselves we then can feel good about others. But if we don’t feel good about ourselves, we give others that ill feeling creating negative energy.
“Your task in not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – Rumi
And the Bible says, Love thy neighbour as you love thyself. So, love yourself, be happy and spread your love and happiness. What you give out to the world will come back to you and you will in turn receive more love and happiness.
So, how to overcome those barriers that’s holding us back?
Here are 5 ways.
No. 1 – Write your own affirmation or mantra – I give this top priority because when I read my affirmations each morning, it instantly creates a shift from whatever mood I’m in to believing I am an amazing, gifted and deserving woman. It fills me up with self -confidence and so much love. Your daily affirmations and mantras will change the way you think, what you belief and how you behave. They will change your life forever.
No. 2 – Watch your self-talk – This is the voice in your head that is constantly telling you what you can, cannot, should or should not do. It plays an active role in you self-belief, self-confidence, how you feel and the decisions you make. Self-talk can be positive or negative; it will try and keep you safe but it can also stop you from moving out of your comfort zone and realising wonderful choices you have. Acknowledge that inner voice but then ignore the negative dialogue that’s sabotages your life.
No. 3 – Self-acceptance – Because we want to be loved by others we hide ‘certain parts’ of ourselves of fear of being judged. In fact we are our own worst critic. Accept all your good and bad thoughts, behaviour, actions and even your failures. We are constantly evolving so whatever we did and said yesterday doesn’t mean that’s what we always will be. So, stop being harsh on yourself; be your own best friend, you will begin to feel better and love yourself more.
No. 4 – Forgiveness – This act of self-love sets you free from the past. We all have deeply disappointed ourselves with something we’ve done in the past. And it’s this inner voice that keeps reminding you of those moments. Shut that down. Forgive, let go so you can heal yourself. You are not your behaviour. Your actions of the past do not define who you truly are. Connect with your higher self and feel the joy of letting go.
No. 5 – Set healthy boundaries – This will require some courage but don’t worry; courage is your innate nature. It will come when you need it most. We are forever doing things for others to please them and rarely making time and space for what we want. We also invariably get caught up in the rat-race, hence diminishing our energy and depleting our love. By setting boundaries you are letting others know how you wish to be treated; what to stand for; what you are willing do and not do. People will begin to respect and honour you as they see you thrive and become all embracing loving and happy person.
Image by https://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/