Life is all about connection, either with people, places or things. It’s the very reason we get into a relationship; to be with someone who fully accepts and loves us.
And once that deep, authentic connection occurs, the relationship takes off and begins to bloom.
Yet, our yearning for this sacred union is often misapprehended. How can we describe this feeling of connection that we so desire? How do we even know that we are yearning for it?
The first step is to understand that men and women have different ways of connecting with their partners.
Women want their emotional needs met. They want their men to listen, respect and fulfil their wishes. They want to feel certain they are safe, loved and adored by their men.
Men, on the other hand, want their women to be loyal to them; they want to be treated and desired like their king and hero.
Lets’ talk about Sex
Women and men have different sex drives. Men think about sex more often than women. Women have lots of other things on their minds and aren’t ready for sex unless in the mood.
After a hard day’s work sex is the last thing on our minds, right? We are exhausted by bedtime and have no desire for any sexual activity.
”I’m just not in the mood.”
So, what is this mood?
Let me explain.
When you have too many things to juggle in life, your mind is racing to get things done and crossed off your to-do lists and you cannot relax into your body.
You are not in the feeling mode but the doing mode. But the fact is, you will be more inclined towards thinking and desiring sex if you switch from doing into being.
And that’s difficult and frustrating when you feel the house is not in order and there are endless list of tasks to do.
Whereas for men, it doesn’t matter the house is not in order — they get into the mood just by thinking about sex.
I know it’s sometimes downright annoying when your man only wants sex and your needs for understanding, care; love and romance are totally ignored.
I strongly feel that men need to do some romancing and I don’t mean luring you to bed. I mean, showing some appreciation, speaking your love language, helping you with the dishes so you both can relax, cuddle up and get into the mood.
That said, sex is a valuable component of a happy and healthy relationship. It fosters deep emotional connection, creates this ‘feel-good hormone’ that helps boost one’s self-esteem and happiness.
‘Sex is an emotion in motion’ – Mae West
Now, what would you do if I told you that sex was the way of unlocking his heart to respond to all your needs and get him to love you like his queen?
Generally, men don’t like to show their emotional side. . They want to appear masculine. But deep down they want to share their inner feelings with you. Sex helps them express those inner emotions most openly and authentically.
It is their way of fulfilling their desire to love and connect with you, as well as feel desired by you.
Sex doesn’t only give him pleasure but actually makes him vulnerable; vulnerable to be, do and give you what you want. Once his emotional needs are met through sex, he will want to please you in whatever way possibly because then he becomes your lover, protector, your knight in shining armour.
I do appreciate though that it may not always be possible to say ‘yes’ to sex.
But, when you say, ‘no’, they withdraw making you feel even more frustrated and neglected.
They feel like a failure; they lose their sense of manhood. And this can affect their self-esteem and their performances at work and in others areas of their lives.
Does this ring a bell?
Sex is about giving and receiving love.
It’s a time when you both surrender to each other in absolute trust to be totally loved, allowing nothing to come between you. No hurt; no blame; no shame. It’s a sacred union that must be cherished.
The key to maintaining a loving and passionate relationship is to understand each other’s needs particularly in regards to intimacy and sex.
Here are 2 quick steps to make this need a priority for you and your man:
No.1 – Ask each other on a scale of 0 to 10, how much of a need for intimacy and sex is fulfilled in your life? It should be above 6 for both of you.
No.2 – What do you need to do in order to have more time and to feel more in the mood for intimacy and sex so that it scales above 6 and even closer to 10?
Now, share this with you significant partner and let the magic begin.
Love + Trust + Loyalty + Great Sex = An Unbreakable Relationship.
Make this your commitment to your man this Valentine’s Day.